You Need a Thick Skin

The act of DMing is rewarding but it also comes with challenges.  Being a DM requires one to develop a thick skin.  You’re going to have problem players and you’re going to take criticism.  Dealing with these situations can be quite difficult if you’re a sensitive person.  One needs a certain level of detachment and the ability not to take things personally.  This can be quite hard, especially when you pour your heart and soul into a campaign.

Taking Criticism

At one point or another you’re going to receive criticism from your players and it can be hard to take.  Take a step back and look at the criticism.  Is this constructive criticism?  Is the player bringing up a valid point that you need to address?  Some criticism is a good thing and it can help you improve your game.  When players bring up a valid point learn from it and adapt what you’re doing to make the game more enjoyable.  Ultimately, you want your players to be happy with what you’re doing, if for example your players want more role playing and less combat in the campaign the only way they can communicate that to you is through constructive criticism.  

While your player may have a valid point, they may not be able to present it in a non-confrontational manner.  It is your job as DM not to let yourself get defensive and become confrontational back.  In this case it is even more important to take a step back and analyze what the player is telling you.  Though the presentation may be less than palatable the player may still be giving you valuable criticism.  Don’t let their pour presentation hurt your feelings, not everyone is good at communication and may not know how to present their feelings in an appropriate manner.

On the other hand not all criticism is constructive and it is hard not to take this kind of criticism personally.  This leads us into the next topic, problem players.

Problem Players

Some people just want to watch the world burn and you can’t take it personally.  At some point in your DM career you are most likely going to run in to a problem player, someone who just has to stir the pot.  They’re disruptive and can even be hurtful.  It can feel like they are personally attacking you.  Realize that it’s really not about you but about their need for attention and control.  Remember, you are the DM and it’s your show not theirs.  What you say goes no matter what kind of tantrum they throw.  Pull players like this aside out of game time and discuss their behavior with them.  Many times this will resolve the problem.  If this fails you have two options.  Ignore their behavior and work around them or ask them to leave the game.  Anyway it goes down remember that their behavior is their problem and not yours.  You are not responsible for the behavior of others even if they try to blame their behavior on something you have said or done.

The main thing is to learn not to take things personally.    Learn to detach and see things from an objective point of view.  Decide if the player is actually presenting something helpful that you can use to improve your performance.  You’ve got to develop a thick skin to DM.